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NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2003 08:11:49 -0600
From: email@example.com (John Fields)
Subject: Re: Austin Instruments to Close
Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2003 14:16:58 GMT
Organization: Austin Instruments, Inc.
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On Wed, 15 Jan 2003 00:45:58 +1100, "Phil Allison"
>PRESS RELEASE: 15 Feb, 2003
> The Texas based electronics design business run by a Mr Fields will
>cease operating as of today. This was formally announced by lawyers acting
>for Mr Fields and Co.
> The exact reasons for this unexpected event seems to be the end
>result of the owner, Mr John Fields, becoming strangely obsessed with
>posting large numbers of messages on chat groups on the internet.
> Mr Fields was not available for comment and is believed to be under
>heavy sedation in hospital after not sleeping for many days due to marathon
>sessions searching usenet groups for any signs of minor spelling errors and
>possible technical mistakes - no matter how small.
> The obsession began with an Australian man whom Mr Fields believed
>needed to be thoroughly chastised for his boorish behaviour and lack of
>respect for professionals like himself. This proved to be more of a task
>than expected since the Aussie put up quite a fight.
> The obsession then expanded to many other persons whom it appeared to
>him were not exhibiting the proper amount of courtesy to their betters. It
>rapidly developed into a full time crusade to rid usenet of infidels and
>barbarians of all sorts.
> Unfortunately Mr Fields very seriously underestimated the magnitude of
>such a task and even with the aid of specially written "Nit Picking"
>software there was not enough time in any day to keep up with the onslaught.
> His mental and physical health began to deteriorate rapidly, something
>he at first ignored. Friends tried to persuade him to "give it a rest" but
>he insisted he was making real progress and had to continue at all costs.
> Mr Fields then attempted to develop a "Nit Picking Virus" that could
>be sent as an email attachment and reproduce itself via email to eventually
>cover the whole of the internet. He dreamed of ridding the planet of even
>the tiniest errors in spelling, grammer and technical accuracy.
> But the dream was unattainable as he has now learnt to his regret.
>The fact is now clear that simple bullshit spreads faster than any net virus
>known and is so tenacious it is impossible to destroy.
> Austin Instruments say they sincerly regret any inconvenience to their
>loyal customers and suppliers. There is no plan to re-start the firm in the
>future. However, the purchase of a significant quantity of sheep is being
>considered once all the assets have been liquidated.
So, you _do_ have a sense of humor.
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