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X-Admin: firstname.lastname@example.org From: email@example.com (NiceGuyTJ) Newsgroups: alt.politics.org.fbi Date: 18 Mar 2004 14:00:47 GMT Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Subject: Drunk Stick Technology Stop Drunk Drivers, GUARANTEED Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Drunk Stick Technology Stop Drunk Drivers, GUARANTEED The following is a simple home workshop recipe designed to give a law enforcement officer probable cause to stop a drunken fire fighter, law enforcement officer, PCS sales manager, or any other drunk that hangs out for hours at a time at a tavern, bar, nightclub, or another drunk's wino home. The basic idea is to insert a small steel sliver or spike in the side-wall of the offender's vehicle while he/she is participating in getting drunk at the aforementioned bar, tavern, or a fellow drunk's home knowing the fool will be driving his vehicle home despite his/her being a danger to society do to their being more than legally drunk. The spike itself is constructed simply from a one inch piece of a 16 penny nail with one end ground to a very fine point like an ice pick. The other end is cut off squarely. Grind the pointed end with a bench grinder or other before separating the section from the rest of the nail to make it easier to work with. One inch pieces of metal are difficult and dangerous to grind on a bench grinder. Once you have several spikes one inch long with a very sharp and pointed ice pick like point on one end, you next need to visit the hardware store, garage sale, you tool box, etc. to obtain a very small diameter nut driver which will accept the small spike you just made and hold it firmly from the blunt end while allowing the pointed end to protrude far enough to be seen completely when inserted into the nut driver. Sixteen penny may not be the appropriate size for the nail to use, you will have to find the appropriate combination of holder and spike. But once you place the spike in the holder, you now have the patented (American Vietcong Patent #65553887365) drunk sticks. To use them, load a spike in the holder, then walk up to the offender's vehicle as it sits outside as he/she is getting drunk inside. With a swift and determined motion, stick the drunk stick into the side-wall of the offender's vehicle tire and withdraw the holder. The result will be that you have created a hole in the side-wall of the vehicle's tire and plugged it with the steel spike you fabricated earlier from the nail. Then all you do is walk away, the drunk stick will do the rest. Once the routine drunk driving offender exits his place of drink, he will proceed to his vehicle and drive away as usual. Once the tire with the drunk stick inserted in the side-wall begins to spin, centrifugal force will place extreme G forces on the little spike in the side-wall of the tire and very shortly it will dislodge from the tire and the tire will begin to leak air. Depending on the length of the drive and the size of the spike, the tire will deflate leaving the drunk to prove if he is in fact a drunk driver or not. The holder is reusable and can deliver an unlimited supply of drunk sticks to as many vehicles as necessary. The holder is also not modified in any way so it can be returned to service as a nut driver. Most drunks will not even realize they are driving on a flat tire and give any law enforcement officer, civilian wannabe cop, or any other bystander a reason to report the drunk driver. Driving on a flat tire is probably cause for an officer to stop a vehicle and the likelihood that such a vehicle will put up a high speed pursuit to evade the police officer is unlikely. You can't driver very fast on a flat tire. The further benefit of the drunk stick is to allow a borderline drunk driver the time to sober up before he continues to operate his motor vehicle. Many drunk drivers are involved in accidents after they pass out or nod off behind the wheel on long drives. A flat tire will cause the borderline drunk driver, the only drunk that would notice his tire is flat, to have to stop, change to his spare, or seek the immediate assistance of a gas station/repair shop. This will give the drunk time to regain his senses and his body to lower his blood alcohol level. Drunk Sticks, another great idea from the minds of the American Vietcong!!! Drunk drivers suck, especially those habitual pukes that don't get arrested like fire fighters, police officers, and their supporters who participate in the activity on a near daily basis as if they were immune to the effects combining alcohol and motor vehicle operation. Use a drunk stick on 'em and bring 'em to justice! Drunk Sticks are safe as well. They do not cause catastrophic blow outs. Instead they cause slow leaks and stop the dangerous drunk driver before he kills, wounds, and maims. Long Live The United States of America!!!
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